Life In The Cell

Rickey, Rickey, Rickey

We stand (at least those on the West Coast, as I’m writing this) exactly one month away from when the BBWAA ballots are due for the Hall of Fame (January 15). I figured this was as good of a time as any to write about one of the candidates for election, Rickey Henderson.

I have a special attachment to Rickey Henderson; he was my first favorite player. I’d say in probably 1st grade he became my favorite player. Through the years a player may have momentarily jumped ahead of Rickey in my books, but he was always firmly planted in the top-3. Now as an adult I am able to look back at things without such a fickle mind, and it’s obvious to me that he is in fact my favorite player of all time. My like for Rickey probably sprung out of the fact that my first little league team was the Oakland A’s and the fact that I, like Rickey, was far faster than the competition. I’m not trying to boast, but I was a pretty good hitter, not out of this world, but All-Star level. On the basepaths, though, I was unstoppable. A single generally would result in me standing on third at some point during the inning and straight steals of home weren’t out of the question. To me, as a first grader, it was cool that Rickey was on the same team I was, and played the same type of game that I did. As I got older, I began to appreciate him for more than just his blazing speed. I marveled at his batting eye, I was amazed by his strength, and as I reached my teen years and adulthood I was awed by the seemingly mythical character of Rickey Henderson. I don’t need to go over his on the field exploits, those have been hashed out many times and will many more times in the coming month. I also don’t need to recap all those crazy Rickey moments and stories as I think everyone familiar with the Internet has read something like this before. What I do want to bring to everyone’s attention (and I’m making it its own paragraph because it’s so important)

is the fact that Cooperstown will bear witness to the greatest induction speech of all-time. Rickey’s speech will be so jam packed with awesome I bet stuff will just start exploding all across the country because this world cannot handle that much concentrated awesome. I am taking it upon myself to try to prepare you for this monumental occasion, for going into it unprepared would be a kin to hearing the voice of God.

For the speech check below the jump!

Thank you commissioner. Thank you everyone. Rickey asks you to please hold your applause until the end. Thank you.

First off, Rickey would like to give congratulations to Jim Rice, _____, and _____ for also being conducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. It’s a great, great honor for them to be able to tell their grandchildren that they went into the Hall of Fame with Rickey Henderson.

Rickey was always destined to be here. Rickey was born fast and ready. Rickey was born in the back of a ‘57 Chevy on the way to the hospital. Rickey came out fast and was moving fast when he came out. Rickey was born to be fast, but if it wasn’t for destiny and for God, Rickey could have been playing football. Rickey had scholarships to play football, but Rickey is smart enough as is so he got drafted by the Oakland A’s instead. Little known fact about Rickey, Rickey is actually a natural lefty. Rickey didn’t want to make it too hard on people so he batted righty, Ricky’s nice like that.

Rickey would like to thank all the voters who elected him in. Rickey figures he’s in the record books a few times of his own accord…and a few times thanks to some others. [Hat tip towards Nolan Ryan] He would like to thank his teammates and coaches as well. Rickey would especially like to thank Steve Finley who now knows Rickey has played this game for at least 16-17 years, Kevin Towers for letting Rickey play baseball when Rickey called on behalf of Rickey, Lou Brock for setting a record for me to break, Billy Beane who Rickey hasn’t seen in awhile, and finally my teammates on the Mariners, Blue Jays and Mets who wore helmets on the field while playing defense.

In conclusion, I am the greatest, and yes, in fact, Rickey is the best! Thank you!

Granted that was a bit shorter than what Rickey will actually say, but Jeeves I can only imitate greatness for so long. Anyway, here’s to Rickey, who to this blogger actually is the best.